i was working on my computer at home one day last week, with the t.v. on in the background, not paying much attention to whatever mindless crap that was showing. then this commercial came on. and i found myself having a very physical and emotional reaction to it. seriously. take a moment and go watch it - i'll be right here when you're finished.
Dress - Grace by Lindee Daniel from Glitter & Grit, photo by Palermo Photo
photo by Palermo Photo
now. i sell wedding dresses, as you might know. so, i should be all about perpetuating the "it's all about the dress" message, right? i also probably shouldn't tell you to go watch my competitor's commercial, either... but i need to rant:
I AM SO ANGRY about this advertisement.

if your fiancee feels that he* is "the invisible man"
a "mere cog in the wheel of this carefully choreographed extravaganza"

then you're doing it wrong.

your wedding is about who each of you are, as individuals, and as a couple. not "all about the bride." or your dress. it's about your love, trust, and commitment to one another. it's about openly sharing that with the people in your lives. i hope that he IS the reason that someone "gets all emotional," at the very least YOU, his bride. if not his mom, your mom, his sister, his best friend, your friends that have been waiting years for this day and are oh-so-excited for you both, etc. etc. etc.

why do we keep acting like grooms are insignificant? they want this, too. and chances are, they actually asked for it. you decided, together, to get married, and then you decided, together, whether or not you wanted to share that life event with other people. there's even a chance that he wants the wedding more than you, or maybe just has more time, better organizational skills, or is a little more picky than you, and has actually participated in, or taken charge of planning your wedding day. you might choose to wear a pretty dress - or sexy suit - and he probably wants to look a little fancy, too. you might include other things to make the day feel special, like floral arrangements or great live music or a menu featuring all of your favorite foods. even better, you might ask your guests to be active participants in your ceremony or share stories and truths while making a toast at your reception; all of these things celebrating the love you share. THAT'S what it's all about.

is it all about the bride? and your dress?

hell. no.

*i prefer to write less specifically, but yes, sorry; this is a strictly hetero post, since the commercial involved a man and a woman. either way, neither partner should feel invisible or insignificant on your wedding day!!


Heather Herrington link
03/09/2014 1:14pm

I could not possibly agree more. When my husband and I were visiting venues, the representative from the one we ended up going with kept on referring to it as "my day", until I finally corrected him that it was actually "our day" and, even more, "our (meaning my husband, myself, and our guests) day". He looked so relieved and totally got into the "our" concept. It was one of the main reasons why we chose that venue.

Sarah Joy McKenzie link
03/09/2014 1:48pm

I absolutely agree. The wedding is about the two people coming together to start a marriage. A marriage that will be about both of them. Not about clothes. I honestly think too much attention goes to the bride and reception and details and not enough into the point of the whole thing (and yes I'm in the industry too and should be pushing the details and all but...) You are so right!

Adrienne link
03/09/2014 2:12pm

I love this! I agree that that mentality is absolutely false. Having a beautiful, well planned wedding should be done together. It's already so stressful to plan a big event and if you're not used to planning events it's a lot to learn in a short amount of time. Having your partner, your buddy, there with you should be the whole point. Sharing a life time of struggles and happiness... beginning with planning a ceremony haha I am a seamstress and when I do custom dresses I always advise the ladies to go for a style that fits well, suits their personality and is comfortable so they can actually enjoy the day they've planned vs. trying to be trendy or crazy extravagant.

Denise M.
03/09/2014 8:26pm

THANK YOU!!! This "all about the bride" thing is awful. I've found that my marriage is happier the more we are "all about" each other.


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