You may know by now that I'm not one to tell you what, how, or when to do things when it comes to planning your wedding or shopping for your dress, but something has come up more than once recently that is really pushing me to urge one thing of you...

Please make peace with your body before you begin trying on wedding dresses! It's a tall order to ask you to simply and completely love your body, I know, so all I'm asking is that you accept it.

We are all so, so infinitely beautiful in our own ways, but it's no secret that we are barraged with messages from all angles about why we're not beautiful enough. Our "imperfections" and "flaws" are used against us by marketers so that we will realize how very much we need their product or service to improve ourselves... okay, so I'm not telling you anything new here, right?

But here's the thing: if we believe them, oh man, we're just breaking our own hearts!

Fortunately, most of my brides have had very healthy self-images, but a couple very clearly experience a disconnect of envisioning themselves one way, and seeing themselves another when going through this process... Blame the media, blame Pinterest, blame the voices of our mothers/grandmothers/sisters/aunts ringing through our minds - it doesn't matter whose fault it is.

I can tell so clearly when someone is really struggling to find a dress that she even likes (forget about falling in love with one!), the problem isn't actually the dresses. The problem is that while in each dress, all she can see is that body part (or parts) that she hates, zoning in... "Ugh, no; my hips," repeatedly, no matter the style or fit of the dress. The self-loathing fills the room and leaves no room for love. We can't have that, my friends... if all you are seeing is this part of you that no one else sees the same way, you're missing how BEAUTIFUL you look -and could feel- each time you step out of the dressing room!

I recently read this piece about the "lotion challenge;" taking time every single day to give kind, loving attention to your least-favorite body part(s), so that maybe you might have a change in how you perceive your body. Again; not asking for love, but - perhaps - acceptance?

My general approach here at Glitter & Grit is to acknowledge what I call (y)our "trigger areas," and then move on, focusing on the assets that you like. I also encourage brides to find a dress that they love on their body, as they are right now... I'll respect of you intend to lose a few pounds, or get in a little better shape, but the reality is that life takes over and we can't always control those things - especially here in Pittsburgh, where we all love our food & booze too much! The wonderful thing about clothes (you know, like your wedding dress) is that you can skim over the parts you might not love so much, and draw attention to what you DO. 

SO: let's talk about what you do love, and like to show off; is it your tiny waist, your strong back, your cutie bootie, your long legs, your "nice rack?"  Me, I love my hands... I know it's a little weird, and they're not especially "nice" or feminine; they're actually kind of rough! But I love 'em. Share yours in the comments!

** want to keep going with this? there are tons of fantastic conversations about body image over at offbeat bride **